"Don't ask me, I don't know anything. He is just a Maxim heavy machine gun produced in China!"

At the post-match press conference, Hoffenheim's head coach Marcus Babel only said this and collapsed in his seat.

He may also feel grateful: In this game, the heavy machine gun only played for 8 minutes, otherwise the score left for Hoffenheim would definitely not be 7-0!

Think about Bayern's crazy firepower last season. On March 10th, Babel had just taken over Hoffenheim for less than a month. He led the team to the Allianz Arena as the head coach for the first time. The hospitality Bayern chariot hit them 11-1!

But he doesn't need to be embarrassed, because in the 2011-12 season, Bayern had a total of 5 games and scored more than 8 goals in 7 games!

According to the post-season summary, all Bayern games that do not score more than five goals are called small wins!

Babel should be relieved that he had only conceded 7 goals: because this shows that his coaching level has improved a lot compared to when he just took over the team!

-

Babel doesn't want to answer the questions, and the local media in Munich are embarrassed to bully people too much. What's more, he is a native Bayern youth training player. He has played for Bayern's first team for more than eight years and won three league championships with the team. He also experienced the black three minutes of the 1999 Champions League final. He is an absolute double star of Bayern and Germany.

In addition, he is also a Liverpool celebrity. However, due to a strange and serious nervous system illness, his body suffered a devastating blow and could only live on a wheelchair for a time. Although he tried hard to fight fate, he failed to defeat this terrible opponent and eventually had to retire.

Faced with such an admirable man, most people don’t have the heart to take the blame.

So the reporters pointed the camera at the winning side.

"No, don't ask me, I don't know anything."

Heinx waved his hands repeatedly, but he was indeed confused:

"I just asked him to go up and find out how he played football. I definitely didn't arrange the tactic of scoring five goals in a row!"

The reporters burst into laughter and continued to ask questions:

"Can you describe your current mood, Yup? As a former world-class striker."

"I'm sorry, I still don't know anything. My head is full of exclamation marks!"

Heinx continued to wave his hand, but then he opened his mouth:

"You just said...I am a top striker in the world?

Oh, yes, I almost forgot that in that era, among German players, only Gede Muller was stronger than me, and I was also a super forward with more than 300 goals in my career...

But that was before today. After Long Shute's crazy performance today, I felt that I was no longer worthy of the title of Super Forward. I have lived for 67 years and 5 months in my life, but I have never experienced such a scene. Even Gad Muller at his peak was not so crazy! That's right, even if Gad stood in front of me, I dared to say that!"

Long Shute, who was sitting beside him, looked at the old man with a smile and boasted about himself without any modesty, and then he seemed to hear a crisp sound in his mind:

"Didi! Joseph Heinx applied to join the Long Ritian diehard fan group, do you agree?"

-

"Congratulations, Long, you probably don't know yet, how crazy you were today?"

Michel Smith, the Munich Evening News, which is very familiar to Bayern, got the first chance to ask Long Shute questions. His appearance is more exciting than Long Shute himself:

"After accurate statistics, you scored five goals in 2 minutes and 18 seconds, that is, 138 seconds. I don't even need to read the information to ensure that this is not only the fastest record in the Bundesliga, but also the fastest record in football history. How did you do it?"

"There is actually a reason, but this involves some secrets within the team. I can't say too much, but I'm very happy today, so I'll reveal it to you some..."

Long Shute pretended to lift the shelf, and the reporters in the audience quickly raised their ears:

"As we all know, I've been very busy this summer, and have participated in many national teams and Olympic games. After returning to the club, after checking my body, the coaching staff officially warned me that the excessively high-intensity training and intensive games have put my body to the limit, so I rested for a few days, but I didn't expect that I still had injuries, fatigue and injuries, which made me miss most of the new season. I only played for one round in the league, and did not play in the Champions League and the German Cup. Although no one told me in person, I also knew that if this continued, it would be difficult for me to explain to the club and the fans.

Bayern is the world's top giant. We have too many excellent players. This is a reflection of the team's strength, but it will also bring fierce competition in the team. As I, who just won the best player in Europe, I must prove that I deserve this honor at every moment, so I must do my best. Even if it is just a warm-up time for ordinary people to find foot feeling, I will not let it go easily."

"Oh, by the way," he added, "from today on, I will do my best in all competitions because I don't like to tie for the award with everyone else."

——Last season, he tied for 51 league goals with Messi and won the European Golden Boot Award. This award was given to him during his injury. Although tied for the first place, how could Long Shute satisfy him?

What he wants to pursue is unique honor, not shoulder to shoulder with them!

Even Messi... it won't work!

-

Scoring five goals in two minutes is almost an unprecedented miracle, because the fastest hat-trick record in Bundesliga history is also stuck at three goals in five minutes.

This game undoubtedly attracted the attention of the whole world, and Long Shute's scores entered the headlines of major media and online platforms at the first time.

"A substitute for 8 minutes, hit five balls!"

"Maxim's heavy machine gun fired wildly! Hoffenheim was slaughtered!"

"The National Day and Mid-Autumn Festival are coming, and Bayern fans are full of five-ren mooncakes!"

"The Chinese captain returns with full blood! The next opponent is trembling!"

"Five goals in two minutes detonate the continental region! Ronaldo and Messi are overshadowed!"

"Two league games, ten goals! The strongest man has returned!"

"138 seconds, 5 goals vs. 35 seconds, 13 minutes, which one is stronger, Dragon or McGrady?"

"The strongest person recommends the strongest mobile phone. China Mobile invites you to join the No. 138 section! Experience the rapid and exciting feeling now!"

"Eunuch Hai was so sad that he gave him a singularity: Long Ritian exploded Gede Muller!"

"The God of War descends to earth! He is so scared that he is so handsome that he smiles stupid and handsome!"

"Ribary, who scored twice, personally gave up his position, and who else did Bayern core do?"

"CCTV famous mouth was shocked to the point of being erroneous, and Director Tao laughed so hard that he cramped!"

"A certain editor is smart and changed the five goals in two minutes to two goals in five minutes, and received bad reviews!"

"Long Ritian's sword aims at the European Golden Boots. He is not tied with anyone this year!"

"C Ronaldo Messi, are you scared?"

...

Ronaldo and Messi were indeed scared. In the Spanish national derby that was held later on the same day, the two kings started an offensive battle almost madly. In the end, the two men took charge of all the goals. A battle of the century filled with smoke shook hands 2-2, and the league goals of the two of them also reached 8 goals, only two goals behind Longshute.

However, their respective league appearances were 7 games, and they were not absent in any of them. Compared to Long Ritian, who missed five rounds of the league and averaged five goals per game, they seemed to be no longer on the same level.

After comparing the four major spam newspapers in Spain, they also discovered this fact, and they chose to fight back:

"Average five goals per game is difficult to last, and the long league has just begun!"

"Give Hoffenheim a fatal blow when his physical fitness collapses. Such a goal is not worth mentioning!"

"Sad! In order to brush data, Chinese Dragons can be said to be using any means! Where is the true sports ethics going?"

This is the first time in history that "Marca", "Ras", "Daily Sports" and "World Sports" have made the same voice in unison.
Chapter completed!