According to the law of equivalent exchange, you will naturally have to pay another thing of equal value if you want to get something. In this way, you can achieve balance.

After returning from the outside world, I spent almost five and a half months unemployed. What was the reason for? In the first month I just returned, I had no idea about my future.

How should I pursue my dreams? If the process of realizing my dreams is compared to building a building, then how should I build it? At that time, I only knew the plan to build a building with my dreams, but I only had the result of imagination, but no practical action. Because I don’t know how to practice...

As time goes by, I have to look for a job in the second month of my return. In addition to my dreams and confusion, the invisible pressure my family put on me also had an impact on me. I need to work and earn money. Although my inner desire to make money was not strong at that time...

So I found my first job after I came back, which was my fifth job in my life.

However, I did not have the support of a clear dream in my heart, and the intensity of my work was very strong. I was physically and mentally exhausted and gave up the job for only three days, and I couldn't even hold on for seven days.

Logically, I wouldn't give up so easily unless I have what I want and are guiding me over.

Perhaps, God is secretly guiding me, which always makes me feel as if I have no road, I have quietly arranged another road for me that I have never thought about but that I am looking forward to.

Just like after I left my second job, I learned to rent a house myself, so I had the "little world" at that time. Although I was unemployed for three months at that time, I unexpectedly entered Xidesheng for work.

During the past six months of working in Xidesheng, I felt that it was God’s reward for me, because it gave me the most steadfast work experience I felt after I came out of social work, even though my position was just a small general worker.

So, when I was working on my fifth job until the early morning of the third day, I felt that my body was really unable to hold on, and my uncomfortable rhythm had to show off my unbearable work intensity.

When I had the idea of ​​giving up, my heart was in a state of constant tangle, but suddenly, my mind was in a state of tangle and knew what I wanted to do. It was when I suddenly had a direction at that moment, and I decisively gave up my fifth job.

Maybe it’s not that I don’t know what I should do, but I just don’t dare to do it. The fifth job has a physical and mental torture to me. I went out and continued to sink into the unemployment time and began to do things that I never dared to do.

If I continue to compare the realization of my dream to building a building, then I found the location of the building at that time, that is, the location selection was completed.

I sorted out all the things I wrote since 2014, modified, and generated a summary version of "The Girls I Like", which included my mental journey at each stage of my life, from the youth era that was mainly based on elementary school, junior high school, high school, and college years to the post-youth era supplemented by internships and work years. In other words, I sorted out my growth history.

And this growth history starts from the starting point. I don’t know or foresee how far I can go. Because for me in the past, this was simply a revolutionary breakthrough. So, I feel very happy to see it running!

The time of unemployment continues to pass. When this growth history has caught up with the pace of my life, I feel that I have to start running. Otherwise, it will run without "nutrition"...

However, at this critical period, a new idea suddenly emerged in my mind - laying the foundation.

"The Girls I Like" can only determine the location range for building a Dream Building. If you want to lay a foundation, you need new power as the material. The new inspiration in my mind at that time can serve as the material for laying the foundation. However, the quality is not guaranteed.

So, I fell into a lingering period again.

As the time of unemployment passes, my personal funds are almost over. I keep asking myself: "Is this unstable but not taking action? Is this really worthy of myself who worked hard to make money in the past? Is it worthy of my family who worry about me?"

While wandering, I bought a lot of books to read, trying to find a strength that can give myself the courage to continue to break through.

However, the biggest breakthrough only had a small beginning, but it disappeared.

The pressure of unemployment is gradually making me breathless. How should I have the motivation to complete it and truly find a job?

So, I started looking for my sixth job with an uneasy mood. Well, because of this, I had the first two articles that asked me to fill out my resume, asked me a lot of questions, and finally felt that I was not admitted to it. Therefore, I felt very useless, so I felt that I was stimulated again, so I had a rhythm of burning my boats.

Let yourself shut down for a few days and disconnect the Internet for a few days to complete the new inspiration. Maybe sometimes, if someone doesn't force himself, he doesn't know that he is really a rookie. Well, he is a rookie who doesn't believe in himself.

Maybe after forcing yourself to break through, the result is not very ideal, but at least you know that you can embark on that road. Everything is difficult at the beginning, and it is indeed the case. But with the beginning, the road will no longer be invisible, and at most there will be forks in the future.

I originally thought that the female clerk was my nobleman and allowed me to find my sixth job smoothly, but I was educated. However, after completing that new inspiration, I still felt that my idea was correct at that time. She was really my nobleman. However, she did not guide me in the direction of my sixth job, but indirectly gave me the power to break through the obstacles of my dreams. If I successfully entered that company, maybe I would put down the new inspiration and let it fall asleep gradually. So, if I had the honor to meet her on the road in the future, I would definitely say "Thank you!"

Now the deadline for myself to burn my boat is here, and I have also completed the realization of that new inspiration.

Looking at it, I couldn't help but sigh that I felt that my unemployment time for more than five months was for it. I felt like I was pregnant for a few months and finally "born" it!

It is relatively small, with only a few tens of thousands of words, and may not bring me any benefits. However, I want it to come to this world not because of interests, but because it is one of the products of my dreams, so I have love.

I don’t ask what it can bring to me. As someone said, you can’t ask a newborn baby what it can do for you. So, I’m very happy to be able to come to this world! For example, if your child comes to this world healthily, you will feel very happy!

Its name is "Night, Can't Sleep".

During the more than five months of unemployment, I lost a lot of money I could earn. Just based on the salary of a simple general worker, excluding food expenses and rent and other expenses, it was about 3,000 yuan a month. Then in five months, I earned more than 15,000 yuan. Not only did I not make any money, but even the money I had earned outside had flowed away with the passage of unemployment and became negative assets. Looking at my family in this state, I felt a lot of uneasy worries for me. These are the prices I had to pay during the unemployment.

However, there will be gains if there are losses.

In the past five months, I have sorted out my spiritual world and sorted it out, but my mind is not so messy.

I read more books than before, and the types of books I read are different from those I read in the past. I saw a different world and felt new literary nutrition. Because of subtle influence, some of my own worldviews, outlook on life, and values ​​that I feel are good have changed innovatively.

Although I don’t go home very often, for me who went to work early, I went home more often. When I went home, there were some happiness and some dullness. But when chatting with my family at home, I still felt that it was worth it for me to be unemployed for a while. Because I felt that I had ignored some details of love very early. If I went to work early, maybe I would continue to ignore it. But in the puzzle riddle of the unemployment, I found the scene of laughing with my uncle when I was a child. I knew nothing and asked my uncle who knew everything. Also, my aunt understood the importance of spiritual communication between me and her. Also, I felt my sisters’ extreme care, incomparable, and inclusiveness…

If fate really comes in wonder, then in the more than five months of unemployment, my fate with Xiaoshi has approached little by little in wonder and extended the time of meeting. To be honest, if I had gone to work early, I really couldn't be sure whether I would ride a bike to Guanlan to see her first glance. If there was no first glance, I wonder if she would have thought of getting close to me. Many ifs, but none of them formed ifs. Because, this is the wonder of fate.

Dreams have a direction, and although the road is not easy to walk, it is already on the road.

My bet with myself is a small victory now. But who knows the future? I'll quit gambling quietly in the future.

God deliberately asked me to face the various feelings brought by family, love, work and dreams in my heart during the five months of unemployment, and how to integrate the existence relationship between them has become my biggest problem.

Now, a new situation is ready to be generated, and there will naturally be new changes. Then, adapt to the situation.

The money that is lost is more, but even if money enters my pocket, it is not entirely mine. It will leave sooner or later. But if you get the wealth in the spiritual world, if you get it, you get it, and it is mine.

If you lose money, you can earn it back. But once you don’t start some things, you may not start in your life.

Loss and gain coexist. If you pay too much attention to loss, the inner world will only be incomplete. Look at what you get more. Even if the inner world is raining, you can still see a rare rainbow.

I remembered the lyrics of "Peak Steps" sung by ***. There is a line that I especially like: I fulfill my wish step by step... (To be continued)
Chapter completed!