When did it start?

Xu Nanzhi can no longer remember clearly.

In her distant impression, she was once a fluent girl, but ever since she performed in front of everyone in class in kindergarten, fear has been accompanying her like a nightmare.

"Nan Zhi, don't be nervous, you look like you are stuttering when you speak." The teacher said from the side.

In the audience were a group of children her age. They were laughing harshly and pointing their fingers at her: "Stutter! Haha! Xu Nanzhi stutters!"

Xu Nanzhi's face was pale, and she held her little hands very tightly. She lowered her head and bit her mouth tightly. Tears flowed down her face and fell on the podium.

"Xu Nanzhi even cried!"

"The little stammer can't speak and still cries!"

"I... I... don't... know... how to... say... words! Hahaha!"

The annoying brats began to tease and bully a helpless girl of the same age, making them feel very proud.

Human nature is inherently evil.

From then on, Xu Nanzhi began to be afraid of going to school. The children in the kindergarten often jumped in front of her and laughed at her stuttering. They would hold her hand and circle around her, laughing and imitating her words.

Xu Nanzhi has no friends. Every time she walks into a crowd, she feels like someone is talking about her behind her back.

"Look! It's a little stutter!"

"Still a crybaby!"

"She can't talk!"

Xu Nanzhi was very aggrieved. She usually spoke without stuttering and spoke fluently to her parents, but when she was nervous, her speech became incoherent.

The ridicule from her classmates only aggravated her nervousness. Once she found someone paying attention to her, she would subconsciously think that the other person was here to laugh at her.

Xu Nanzhi was afraid of being commented on by her classmates, so she didn't dare to raise her head or make eye contact with others. She felt so ashamed that she wanted to escape from school and hide at home.

"Mom, I don't want to go to school anymore..." Xu Nanzhi said with red eyes.

"What's wrong, are your classmates bullying you?" Bai Yan asked quickly.

So Xu Nanzhi told her mother what happened at school. Bai Yan was very angry and called the kindergarten teacher at that time. Xu Nanzhi had never seen her mother scold someone so rudely.

"Gardenia is fine. You don't stutter when you speak. Your classmates and teachers are all blind. When class starts tomorrow, I will go there with you and ask them to apologize to you." Bai Yan wiped her daughter's tears distressedly.

Xu Nanzhi nodded, like a hurt and helpless kitten. A look from others was enough to make her panic.

The next day, Bai Yan and Xu Nanzhi went to school together.

The teacher and the classmates who laughed at her apologized to Xu Nanzhi.

She thought the matter would end here, but what Xu Nanzhi didn't expect was that from then on, she was completely isolated by her classmates.

No one talked to her, everyone never called her when playing games, and the teacher didn’t look good when he looked at her...

Sometimes Xu Nanzhi would hide in the corner and hear the whispers of her classmates. They said she was a little bitch. Not only did she stutter, but she would also complain to her parents. The teacher told them to ignore her...

Ordinary people can never imagine how harmful this kind of isolation is to a five-year-old girl.

Xu Nanzhi really wants to play and play games with other children, instead of being forgotten in a corner and being disliked like now.

She didn't know whether she should tell her mother these things. She was afraid that if she did, her classmates would isolate her even more.

"Mom, none of my classmates want to play with me..."

"You have to take the initiative to play with others. Bring your toys over and ask them to play with you. How can you make friends if you don't take the initiative?"

So Xu Nanzhi took her favorite toys to the kindergarten. She tried her best to show her kindness and initiative, but it backfired. Reality hit her hard again and no one played with her.

…

Xu Nanzhi transferred to another school.

A new environment, new classmates, and a new beginning.

It's just that the previous experience seemed to have become a problem for her. As long as she was in contact with people and talked, she began to get nervous, and then her stuttering problem recurred.

She can see the ridicule, pity, confusion, and surprise in other people's eyes...

Sometimes when she meets really good classmates, they don't mind her nervous stuttering when speaking. Xu Nanzhi cherishes them very much and longs to be friends with them forever.

Every time she said a word or made a move, she couldn't help but subconsciously think: Did my performance just now disgust her? Did I say the wrong thing just now? What did she just say to me?

I didn't respond in time, how should I remedy it...

Nervousness and anxiety came over and over again, constantly tormenting her.

In such a mental environment, Xu Nanzhi spent her elementary school and junior high school years.

Later, Xu Nanzhi gradually realized that maybe hiding herself was the best choice. Don't be seen, don't be noticed, don't talk to people...

As long as she doesn't come into contact with people, she won't be nervous or anxious.

But once she is exposed in front of others, fear will swallow her up like a tide...

…

In her freshman year of high school, she was admitted to No. 1 Middle School and became the most inconspicuous girl in the class.

Wearing a black and white loose sportswear, her hands can be retracted into the sleeves, with bangs and shoulder-length short hair, she sat silently in the corner, lowered her head, not looking at the classmates around her, her bangs covering her

Her appearance was so beautiful that no classmates looked at her.

Everyone was getting to know each other lively, chatting about their past junior high school days, or dreaming about their future high school life.

New classmates came to the classroom one after another, and the seats gradually filled up. Everyone seemed to be aware of the barrier brought by this female classmate, but no one sat next to her, which made her relieved.

"Hello, is there anyone taking this seat? There seems to be no space..."

A question came from beside her, awakening Xu Nanzhi from her own little world.

Her heart beat faster involuntarily, and she didn't raise her head or look at who it was, but her character couldn't say the word "rejection" at all.

As if he heard the inaudible 'um' sound coming from the girl's throat, the boy pulled out the seat and sat down.

"Are there any tissues?"

The boy seemed to be running a little hastily, his forehead was covered with sweat, and he was almost late for school on his first day.

Xu Nanzhi was stunned...

Still not speaking, he just took out a pack of tissues from his schoolbag and placed it gently on the table.

"thank you."

The young man took a tissue and wiped his sweat. Xu Nanzhi could feel the hot breath on his body, and her heart beat faster.

"My name is Yuan Jia, Yuan from Lantern Festival, Jia from Jiaozhai, from No. 4 Middle School. What's your name?"

Yuan Jia returned the tissue to her and asked at the same time.

"Xu Nanzhi..."

Her voice was very small, like a mosquito talking, and Yuan Jia didn't hear her clearly.

Probably because he thought the girl was a super introvert, Yuan Jia was very sensible and didn't ask any more questions. Anyway, he would know sooner or later.

"Oh, your name is very nice." Yuan Jia smiled.

Xu Nanzhi looked back at him for the first time, just a quick glance, feeling only the warmth of the sun.

Soon the head teacher came over. After counting the number of people, he explained the rules and regulations. Then came the self-introduction step that Xu Nanzhi was most afraid of.

Yuan Jia came on stage. He was very handsome, tall and thin, and he was the favorite of girls.

Xu Nanzhi could feel that as soon as Yuan Jia came on stage, he immediately attracted everyone's attention. His self-introduction was humorous and made people immediately remember his name and him.

Xu Nanzhi looked at him secretly. He was indeed a very heart-warming young man. His behavior, speech, and demeanor... all revealed a strong sense of confidence and sunshine.

It was so dazzling that Xu Nanzhi felt that he was like the sun in the sky, while she was just a little bug that humbled herself in the dust and didn't even dare to talk to anyone...

Yuan Jia came down and whispered to Xu Nanzhi: "It's your turn, don't be in a daze."

Only then did Xu Nanzhi come back to her senses. She felt that the classmates around her were looking at her, and their gazes made her feel on pins and needles.

Xu Nanzhi's hands and feet were cold, her palms were sweating, and her heart was beating so fast that it almost jumped out of her throat.

She didn't dare to speak because she knew that she would stutter and not even be able to speak a word.

On the way to the podium, Xu Nanzhi felt that she was on the execution ground and was about to face a public execution.

"Everyone... hello..."

Xu Nanzhi stumbled and said three words, followed Yuanjia's example, wrote his name on the blackboard, and then ran back as if he was running away.

Yuan Jia stood up and made room for her to come in. After she sat down, he sat down again and locked her in her place.

Xu Nanzhi didn't feel aggrieved. On the contrary, this small square space that belonged to her gave her a sense of security.

"Xu Nanzhi."

Yuan Jia looked at her and said.

Xu Nan looked at him blankly, waiting for him to speak. What did he want to say? Was he laughing at my embarrassment just now...
To be continued...