"Every time I go to the hospital, I basically fill out two forms, scan my brain waves, and the doctor asks a few symbolic questions. They are not interested in listening to me. After prescribing the medicine, I can see it in their eyes.

Come out 'you can leave'."

"Actually, I just want to be accepted..."

Jiang Shiyun smiled, "Actually, I don't blame them. I can't even accept myself. I really can't. I hate myself like this."

"I knew I was rejected. I was a broken machine. Even the psychological counselors couldn't fix me. They didn't want to accept me. They just wanted to stay away from me. At that time, I felt like I was hopeless. That was about it.

This is how it will go on for the rest of your life.”

Since the last psychological consultation, she has completely closed off her emotions, like a glass cover. All others can see is her optimism, positivity, and cheerfulness.

If she hadn't been born sensitive, she wouldn't have noticed what normal people's lives were like, and she never thought there was such a big gap between herself and normal people.

Just like Yuan Jia said just now, Jiang Shiyun has never given up on herself.

She had such tenacious vitality that even if she had to put her hand into her chest and pinch her heart to make it beat, she never gave up.

But I am really, really tired...

She longs to feel life more than anyone else, but all she can feel is sadness.

When she was downstairs before, Jiang Shiyun had been hesitating whether to come in. Her hesitation was because if she was rejected again this time, she might really not be able to persist.

She had seen many psychological counselors. Those who chatted with her could not touch her emotions at all. They used words memorized from books or used the harshest words to reprimand her for being fragile, worrying, lazy, and hopeless.

You can use these words to wake her up and motivate her.

Being sensitive, she could clearly see the impatience in the other person's eyes, and her actions and expressions were alien to others, even if they said "I understand you".

…

During the chat with Yuan Jia just now, she experienced an unprecedented sense of pleasure, so much so that in the end, she couldn't even remember what she said.

She only remembered that she kept talking and kept talking, and Yuanjia listened quietly, but she could read the resonance of his emotions from his expression and eyes.

He didn't speak, but his movements and expressions were the most perfect language in the world, and Jiang Shiyun could receive the response he gave.

This was the first time she told someone about these things, and she could read something called "empathy" from the other person's expression.

Yuan Jia could truly understand her pain and sadness, even if he didn't say a word, Jiang Shiyun seemed to have opened her heart, shaking out all the words that had been suppressed in her heart for these years.

Sometimes even Jiang Shiyun felt that she had talked too much, and thought that Yuan Jia might think she was annoying and wanted to interrupt her, but she didn't.

He just listened quietly, like her shadow, experiencing her experiences and feeling her feelings.

The tea had gone cold, and in a daze, she heard his words.

"I feel like the house is filled with a lingering sadness..."

Just such a simple sentence.

'Lingering sadness'

These seven words hit Jiang Shiyun's heart in an instant, and all her tears fell down.

She was completely opposite to the one who looked so optimistic, talkative, and outgoing when she first entered the house.

She couldn't control her emotions anymore, lay on the table and cried bitterly.

"Thank you...Thank you...Teacher Yuan...Thank you for understanding me...Thank you..."

Her whole body twitched, and the cries that were suppressed to the extreme and finally released seemed to be the sadness that was extracted with difficulty from the depths of her soul.

Jiang Shiyun cried in front of Yuan Jia for half an hour.

She was finally seen...

Finally, someone knew that she was not fragile or overly worried...

Finally, someone could reach out and touch her heart through her seemingly optimistic and positive glass cover, and truly feel her sadness...

…

Jiang Shiyun has always known what she wants.

She longs to be loved, longed to be accepted, longed to be acknowledged, and she wants to live like a normal person.

"I know how sad you are. You've done a great job, very well."

Jiang Shiyun felt this kind of comfort based on being understood. She didn't know how to describe her feelings.

It’s that feeling of ‘overwhelming’, that feeling of being depressed to the extreme and suddenly having a heavy burden lifted off you.

Three of the four wishes were fulfilled in an instant. Apart from being so happy, she really couldn't find any other adjective to describe her mood.

Depression is not a depressive mood. She doesn't need verbal language or others to tell her what to do. All she needs is recognition and understanding.

Just like when she got the diagnosis of severe depression in the hospital, she was actually very happy and felt that her pain had been proven. She was not in a bad mood, she was not pretentious, and she was not a bad person.

She is a good person, she is just sick.

…

"Teacher Yuan, I'm sorry, I made a fool of myself..."

Jiang Shiyun took the tissue handed over by Yuan Jia, wiped her tears, and couldn't help bursting into laughter. She was really happy and extremely lucky to meet someone who understood her.

Just like two people with similar emotions, she can feel at ease and comfortable without the other party having to say anything.

The most important process of psychotherapy is the establishment of trust.

The person you trust the most is actually the most suitable psychological counselor for you.

For ordinary visitors, when looking for a psychological counselor who is suitable for them, the first thing they should care about is not the other person’s various certificates or qualifications, but a ‘feeling’

The first is that he can make it easy for you to understand what he means, and he can also understand your feelings easily, making communication smooth and effortless.

The second is that you will feel interested and enthusiastic to continue chatting with him and be willing to schedule an appointment for the next meeting.

The third is that after the meeting, you may not be able to tell what you talked about today, but you will obviously feel that you have been inspired in some way, and your understanding of things is broader, more detailed, and richer, and you have a richer understanding of life.

I also feel more confident.

A psychological counselor who meets these three points is the most suitable counselor for you.

For many patients with mental illness, their requirements are simpler. They don’t care what you say. They only care about whether you can understand them and understand them, because they may know more about what to do about their own mental illness than

More counselors.

Many visitors hold on to this expectation and seek counselors one after another. In fact, they just want to find someone who understands them.

Of course, most of the time, the visitors Yuan Jia encounters are not mentally ill, they just have psychological problems and fall into some kind of confusion. At this time, he needs to be guided.

Depression is a very difficult mental illness. For severe cases, simple psychological counseling is almost ineffective.

For example, when a normal person enjoys the shade in the yard in the afternoon, he can feel a variety of emotions, such as relaxation, nature, happiness, etc. However, for patients with depression, the only feeling is depression and pain, which overflows the entire space.

The most effective way is to take medicine to suppress mental defects at the physiological level, and then cooperate with psychological treatment to solve the "depressive mood" caused by "depression"

…

Listening to Jiang Shiyun's words, Yuan Jia smiled and said softly: "It's okay, just cry. How long have you been crying in front of others?"

"Well... it's been seven or eight years. The last time I cried was because I spilled vegetable soup on the guests while serving plates in the restaurant. I was scolded and cried. It was very embarrassing."

Jiang Shiyun talked about the past. She worked to make money after leaving home. At that time, she was not old enough and could only serve dishes in small restaurants, sold breakfast on the street, worked as a shampoo girl, and set up a street stall. She stumbled along the way.

, is now the sales manager of the company, and everyone praises her for her strong ability to do things. Even college graduates who are about the same age as her cannot catch up with her, and she is considered the backbone of the company.

When communicating with people on a daily basis, no one would have thought that she would be a patient with severe depression. She would cry uncontrollably every night and have to go to work pretending to be fine the next day.

She never reveals her true feelings to others. She knows very well that no one can understand her feelings, and it may even become a topic of conversation for everyone in the company.

She has been living like this. As she said, she is very tired. She wants to give up countless times and want to jump from the 28th floor.

"Actually, I also really want to go to college. I'm really looking forward to it."

She spoke plainly about her life and her wishes, "I work very hard to make money, and my dream is to own a house by the sea. Teacher Yuan, have you ever bungee jumping?"

"No, how do you feel?"

"It's like dying once, it's fascinating."

Yuan Jia made another pot of tea, picked up the teapot, poured it into her cup, and she stretched out her hands to hold the cup.

The sleeves were naturally rolled up, and you could see three shocking scars on his left wrist, spanning the entire half section.

Jiang Shiyun shrank her left hand without leaving any trace, and covered the scar with her sleeve again. This has almost become her habit. She never wears short-sleeved shirts, even on hot days.

"Did it hurt at that time?" Yuan Jia asked.

"I didn't feel anything when I cut it. The knife was cool, and I felt pain after a while. I was very scared at the time. My whole body was shaking. I was afraid that I wouldn't die, so I made two more cuts." Jiang Shiyun said.

It's like talking about a trivial thing.

Her eyes fell on the elegantly turning green tea leaves in the glass teapot, and she was slightly lost in thought.

"What kind of person do you think you are?" Yuanjia asked.

Jiang Shiyun thought for a while and didn't know what to say. She smiled and said, "Can I use an animal to describe myself?"

"Can."
To be continued...