"Hello, Teacher Yuan, I feel like there's something wrong with my social status. I'm either afraid of socializing or just too lazy to socialize."

"For example, whenever someone contacts me, I subconsciously feel annoyed and annoyed. No matter it's a phone call or anything else, I don't want others to contact me. Even if I have a lot of time, I don't want to reply."

"I always feel like it's a waste of my time and energy to communicate with others. Sometimes I feel restricted, so I simply don't reply."

"I don't want others to take up my time. I just want to be alone. I never take the initiative to find others. I find it boring and boring, and I don't want to communicate with anyone."

"I feel like there is something wrong with my psychology. Am I considered autistic? What should I do?"

After reading the letter, many viewers also spoke.

Me, too

I almost thought I was sleepwalking and wrote a letter to Teacher Yuan

I really don’t want to contact anyone.

It's really annoying

I would rather lie by myself than contact anyone else

Give me a mobile phone, unlimited data and money, and I can stay here forever

While Yuan Jia was reading the letter, he was also thinking about the problem.

This social state is different from Gardenia's social phobia, which is a person's inner desire to interact, but is deterred by inner fear and some unnatural symptoms that come with the fear.

The social state mentioned in the letter is often caused by one's own subjective unwillingness, and in the current society, more and more people are experiencing similar mental states.

To put it simply, I don’t want to deal with other people, I don’t dislike this state, and I enjoy this kind of loneliness.

Of course, this cannot be considered a mental illness, but people are social beings after all, and they are indispensable for dealing with others, so this mental state is inconsistent with actual behavior, causing inner discomfort, discomfort and irritation.

Everyone is waiting for Teacher Yuan’s answer.

"Da da"

There was a knock on the door, Huihui opened the door, held the door handle and walked in.

"Brother, what are you doing? Are you eating sugar water?"

"Ah, you guys eat, I'm live broadcasting."

"oh."

Huihui ran out and came back cautiously after a while, carrying a plate with a bowl of sweet potato syrup on it. She stared at the edge of the bowl quietly and carefully brought it in.

"I'll give it to you to eat."

"Be careful of burning"

"It's all cooled down."

The audience in the live broadcast room felt like they had eaten a ton of lemons as they watched the brother and sister interact.

Where can I get a sister like this?

uncle

I'm thinking shit upstairs

So cute, love, love

Back in the live broadcast room, Yuan Jia drank sugar water while talking to the audience. As the number of live broadcasts increased, he gradually became more natural.

Sometimes I am too lazy to change my shirt, so I just wear a large T-shirt and beach shorts for the live broadcast, which actually makes the audience feel that Teacher Yuan looks more homely and friendly.

Mainly it depends on the face.

Yuan Jia picked up a piece of sweet potato and stuffed it into his mouth, continuing the topic.

"I have read your letter. Like the fans and friends in the live broadcast room, I have also felt this way. For example."

"When was the strongest feeling? I can easily recall that when I was a child, whenever there were guests at home, my parents would call me out of the room and ask me to say hello to the guests, uncle, aunt, aunt xx

Good and so on, I have encountered them all before. How did you feel at that time?"

Teacher Yuan’s example is so accurate that it will explode.

Just one word, annoying

Very annoying

Trouble trouble trouble

The overwhelming words "annoying" almost blocked the video screen in the live broadcast room. Yuan Jia did not expect that a bomb would explode so many divers.

Everyone has had the experience of being pulled out to say hello to unfamiliar people in childhood. When I return to the mental state mentioned in the letter just now, I am either afraid of social interaction or too lazy to socialize. I subconsciously feel annoyed and annoyed. I always feel that this is

I feel like I'm wasting my time.

"Are they all correct?" Yuan Jia said with a smile.

Extreme pair x999

The sweet potatoes are very sweet. They were brought back from my hometown and grown by my grandparents. Yuanjia finished the sugar water and put down the bowl.

Teacher Yuan, let’s become a mukbang

I feel like watching you eat is very healing.

You succeeded in making me hungry

Yuan Jia ignored the barrage and continued, "Later, I summarized the reasons for this state."

"Students with this kind of mental state usually had strict discipline from their parents during their childhood."

"This kind of discipline has many aspects, including the example of forced socialization just mentioned, and forced non-socialization. For example, your parents are worried that you will meet bad friends and prevent you from having too much contact with outsiders."

"This is the main reason for this psychological state. In addition, there are also personal values, such as unwillingness to waste life on meaningless things, unwillingness to get involved in too many personnel disputes, and unwillingness to

I am willing to say some unintentional flattery in the crowd, but this will be more rational and the feeling of boredom in my heart will not be so strong."

"Childhood experiences will affect your whole life."

"Growing up in this kind of environment, gradually, a strong sense of boundaries will appear in our hearts. When social interaction occurs, we will feel that our own boundaries are broken, resulting in a feeling of being bound and violated.

Feel."

"This kind of emotion is called generalization."

"For example, if a relationship fails, it means that there is no good thing in either man or woman."

"And this problem is to generalize the unpleasant experience of getting along with others in childhood to getting along with other people in life."

This kind of emotional analysis is not difficult for Yuan Jia, and the audience in the live broadcast room can also understand it.

Growing up, no one seemed to care about their own psychological growth, and they never knew that trivial things in childhood could have such a big impact on people's psychology.

"Here I am going to extend a concept about freedom. Do you feel free?"

Very free, enjoying the blessings of 996

I have experienced this before when I traveled

Does weekend school break count?

Yuan Jia smiled and continued, "Of course. Freedom is the most valuable thing in our lives. Only when you feel that your behavior is controlled by yourself can you feel the feeling of freedom."

"When the self is disturbed, for example, when you are reading a book and someone suddenly talks to you, then a part of you is replaced by someone else. Then this me is no longer me, and you will feel unfree and inevitably

It will make you feel uncomfortable and annoyed.”

Such a high-level look

Teacher Yuan, don’t pretend

What should I do?

Yuanjia said, "Nothing is completely bad. Regarding the problem itself, we need to understand the reasons for it."

"When you know why it occurs, then consider whether it needs to be changed."

"Of course there is no problem if you don't change. After all, life is unpredictable. Many people disperse as they go. Learning to get along with loneliness is not an easy task. If the process of being alone makes us feel free and relaxed, then we

Just enjoy this emotion.”

"If you want to change, you first have to address the generalization of emotions."

"Because of generalization, you often only see the negative side of social interaction."

"If you want to change this negative thinking pattern, there is a very good way. You can try to have a good and positive intimate relationship and change your past social cognition bit by bit. There is no rush, you can take your time.

"

"Before we start dating, give yourself a hint and tell yourself that you can choose your friends. If getting along with the other person makes me feel free and relaxed, then I will continue to be good friends with him. If he makes me feel

If I feel violated or uncomfortable, I also have the right to refuse to interact."

"Don't underestimate this hint, it can effectively help you reduce your resistance."

I understand this, Xinmao

You understand again
To be continued...