[Because I really wanted to write a sentence for this volume and all the previous painful experiences, so I wrote the end-of-volume remarks for this volume in advance before finishing the update of the extra chapter.]

[Of course because of my obsessive-compulsive disorder, I will put this one at the end after all the extra chapters are updated]

[There is a lot of pain in the first half of this chapter. If you want to see the summary of the plot, you can go directly to the second half]

[However, most people probably don’t read the remarks at the end of the volume, and it’s so long. I just skip it every time when I read the book, hh]

...

...

it is finally over,

I started writing this volume from March 21 to July 23, two years and three months later. If it were anyone else, I would have finished this entire book.

Then I finished writing a volume, probably close to 600,000 words,

Really, this fact is too slow, so slow that I usually deliberately don’t think about it, so as not to cause a mental explosion and affect the update.

It's like you're injured somewhere, but you don't dare to press it because you're afraid of pain, so you pretend it doesn't exist.

But now, with the North American volume finally finished, I can finally talk about it as if it was dug out from the bottom of my heart.

These days I have been recalling, recalling the experience starting from this volume, the entire North American volume, and my mentality throughout,

is pain,

Very painful

When I look through the messages written by writers, I find either messages or apologies. It seems that there are only a few times when they say, "Ah, I had a good day today. I'm very happy recently. I finally found a girlfriend."

I don’t know if you remember, but at the end of the last volume, I wrote:

I just said that I didn’t know what to write in my North American paper, and I was so panicked that I didn’t know what to write.

Then after I actually started writing it, I opened the plot at the beginning of this volume these days and recalled my mood at that time.

It’s just that the new map, the new characters, and the whole plot of the next volume didn’t make me cringe.

But looking back now, I realize that it was actually a good time. At that time, I had the freshness of opening a new volume, and I was tired of writing the previous volume and wanted to do something different in my daily life.

Under the premise of ensuring quality within one month, although there is a lag, I can still update about fifteen chapters (of course, I know that this number is actually too high compared to other authors, but I remember that I really tried my best at that time)

So in the first half of this volume, as of the energy field, the progress is pretty normal.

The real time lag that led to this volume was two and a half years.

It was mid-January last year

I was sick at that time, a stomach bug or something that caused a stomach flu, and I vomited directly in the elevator.

Because in the past few months, the accumulated pressure on Carvin had made his life dark.

Those days were too impressive,

Kavin, anxious, staying up late, not wanting to wash my hair, unkempt face, eating twice a day, putting off eating until I was very hungry, eating the same takeout for several days, wolfing it down in three to two minutes, sitting still since I woke up in the morning

Instead of standing up and moving to digest, I put on headphones and played a song for five or six hours to find my mood.

Then this state lasted for a few days and then I immediately fell ill. At that time, I was living alone in Dalian.

Being alone in a city with no parents to take care of you, no friends around, no one to talk to you,

When the symptoms were at their worst, I could only lie in bed and not want to tell my parents.

I didn’t know what to say about the sadness I felt at that time. I had severe stomach pain, felt weak in my stomach, and couldn’t eat. The stomach flu was just like a common cold, with stuffy nose, runny nose, inflamed throat, and tears.

I should know what it feels like to work alone outside. At that time, I would lie in bed and feel so uncomfortable that I would explode.

Although I usually talk about having an explosive mentality, this time it was really different.

It’s so uncomfortable to think about it, it’s so uncomfortable to be sick, health is the most important, and life is the most important. Do I really have to write this broken novel? Do I have to force myself into this? Why do I have to live in such pain?

Ah, why am I so uncomfortable? I’m already very uncomfortable. Why was my youth and my best years so painful? It’s just thoughts similar to these. (Of course, the language at the time would be more intense than what I write here.

(more)

It is true that illness can make people vulnerable. At that time, he was sick, lonely, and uncomfortable. The anxiety and stress accumulated by Carvin in the previous few months all piled up and he burst out emotionally.

Then a string in my mind suddenly snapped.

That urge to force myself to update as soon as possible and don’t let up. If I don’t update for two or three days, I will feel stressed and guilty, and the focus of my life will be on the novel. It just collapsed.

And from then on, my number of updates per month changed from a dozen to six or seven.

I really couldn't bear the pain I felt before, I collapsed, and the strength in my heart was broken.

Then, after finishing writing Energy in this state where the string was already broken, I entered the truly painful stage.

Yes, it is a plot in the financial field.

The main reasons for writing this volume were medical treatment and energy for two and a half years. There are about 150 chapters in total, and it took just over a year to write.

In the financial field, there are only 50 chapters in total, and it took more than a year to write.

To be honest, this is what I have been deliberately trying not to think about. Damn it, I wrote fifty chapters in an early year. I think it is outrageous. I would not have believed it a few years ago.

But the reality is really like this. I have already written several climactic battles and entered the financial plot. I really came to a blank.

I could only choose the stupidest method,

Relying on time to survive

The number of updates per month went from six or seven to about four, then to the next three, or even the last two.

From the beginning, seven days was the bottom line, then it became ten days, and by the time of the last one, it took fifteen days to hold it in.

To clarify, I didn’t write it on the last day and then played all the other days.

So how am I spending my days these days?

Basically, I just sit there for three days, escaping to relieve the pain of the previous cycle (I tried not to do this, so I forced myself to continue writing, but in fact I just sat there for a day and couldn't write anything, which made my mentality even more explosive)

This chapter is not finished yet, please click on the next page to continue reading the exciting content! Then for the next four or five days, I sat in front of the computer from morning to night and racked my brains.

Every time before I start to write, I have to go over the whole thing again, wear headphones and listen to music non-stop, loop the single until I vomit, accumulate emotions and find the state.

Otherwise, your brain will not be able to work at all, as if it were a piece of cake.

It takes several hours, or even a whole day, otherwise you won’t be able to find the same feeling as the last one, and you won’t be able to ignite it.

It’s no less troublesome than taking a shower and changing clothes every time before typing.

Sometimes during this process, it only takes two or three days to change the last one.

Even if I get into the mood, I still stumble, and it is common to sit down and write out one or two hundred words in a day.

Sometimes I just sit there for a whole day without writing anything, no matter how much I listen to music, it’s useless, my mentality just explodes.

And because I sit for long periods of time, I often suffer from back pain, neck pain, and shoulder pain.

Sometimes I am anxious and insomniac until midnight, at four o'clock, when the sky is already dim, thinking that I haven't had a good rest yet, and tomorrow is already the last few days, I really have to write it out quickly, and my mentality is extremely explosive.

At the worst time, in a seven-day cycle, I would explode with this mentality twice.

After going through all the above, you can finally get one card.

Then start the next identical cycle.

How long have I lived like this?

One year.

As long as I have been writing in the financial field, I have been living like this for as long as I have.

Chapter 1171, George’s inner monologue, is actually part of what I wrote about my own inner state.

Every time when my mentality explodes, I feel the anxiety about my current situation, the stagnation, the torment of wasting my life, the torture of the coding process, the self-shaking, self-denial and doubt that I am not good enough, and 'Why are you like this?

Rubbish' looks at other authors' feelings of inferiority, inferiority, and powerlessness, going crazy, hysterical, and yelling

The past year has been very painful

In fact, in the two years and three months of this volume, there must be more than just the things I can remember to mention. There are also other pains that I don’t want to recall anymore.

But no matter what, those days that were so painful and so long that I couldn’t see the end were finally over.

Now that I think about the pain I felt at the end of writing the European volume, it is simply not worth mentioning. Sure enough, only after experiencing more painful things can people feel the simplicity they once had.

Is this considered a form of growth (covering face, laughing and crying)

Actually, it’s not like I haven’t reflected on it. I’ve also thought about why it’s like this and why it’s so painful.

In the final analysis, I have been writing for too long, my life has been empty for a long time, my enthusiasm is not as good as before, and then I refuse to perfunctory, which leads to a series of problems caused by Carvin,

Someone has advised me a long time ago, saying that what you write is an Internet article, not a masterpiece handed down from generation to generation, so you don’t have to be perfect.

Of course I know this truth. The more diligent you are, the harder it will be to write, and the more obsessed you are, the more painful it will be.

However, I am a salty fish out of interest, unlike most authors who mainly focus on grades and making money. The sense of accomplishment and peace of mind after writing each piece carefully is one of the few positive feedbacks I get from writing books.

So I edited and revised, deleting a few words in each paragraph, changing a few words, solving those deep logical loopholes that no one knew about, and considering the tone and momentum that I read silently in my mind.

Who does this satisfy? It only satisfies me
To be continued...