I also forgot whether the world was as quiet as a string.

01

There are some things that are isolated between people that can easily break deep ravines between each other. After raining, it becomes a river and then it will never be able to cross it.

If there is another fog on the river...

Just like the first time that the fourteen-year-old Qi Ming had left his pants dirty. He got up in the morning and stuffed his pants under the pillow, and then set off for class. After going home to take a shower in the evening, he took his pants from the morning to the bathroom. When he met his mother, his face turned slightly red.

Seeing him holding his pants, my mother habitually reached out to take them, but was unexpectedly rejected by Qi Ming.

"What pants do you wash well? Didn't I help you wash them? Today I'm a fool," my mother stretched out her hand, "Take it over, go and read the book."

Qi Ming turned sideways, his face as if he was about to burn, "No, I'll wash it myself." He walked around his mother and walked into the toilet and closed the door.

My mother stood outside the door, listening to the rushing sound of the faucet inside, and laughed thoughtfully.

Qi Ming came out of the toilet, shook the water from his hand, and just reached out to wipe it on the towel, he saw his mother standing in the aisle of the living room, looking at him, smiling, "Silly boy, do you think mom doesn't know."

Suddenly, a feeling of discomfort flowed into the heart from the blood vessels, like drinking too sweet sugar water, so sweet that itchy itchy in the throat. It was like a mosquito biting out of the throat.

"It's nothing, I've gone to read." Qi Ming touched his face, which was very hot.

"Oh, why are you and your mother afraid of being ashamed? In the future, mother will be better off. Be good and become a young man, haha."

Qi Ming closed the door of his room, fell on the bed, pulled the quilt and covered his head.

The sound of my mother calling outside the door was high-profile and clear.

"Hey, Qi Fangcheng, your baby son has become an adult, haha, let me tell you..."

Qi Ming was lying on the bed, covering his quilt, stretching his hand outside, touching the switch of the light on the wall, pressing on, closing again, pressing on, and closing again. The light could not enter the quilt, and could only form a blurred light that was hidden and extinguished on the eyelids.

My heart was covered with a layer of gray film, which looked like the twilight in the alley in the evening, with the smell of hot smoke, which made me feel uncomfortable.

A few days later, one morning when I was going to school, my mother and a few middle-aged women were also chatting at the door. Qi Ming pulled his schoolbag, squeezed over to them, and whispered, "Mom, I'll go to class first."

Before Qi Ming could walk two steps away, he heard the conversation coming from behind him.

"I heard of your son~hehe." A sarcastic smile.

"Oh, Li Xiulan, how can you talk about your big mouth everywhere?" My mother pretended to be angry. No matter how annoying the voice was, she was still smiling.

"Oh, this is a good thing. It's not good to have a grandson as soon as possible. Hahahaha." A disgusting smile.

"The child nowadays is really nutritious. I miss the one we were 16 years old!" an older woman.

Qi Ming pulled the bicycle out of the pile of cars hard, and pulled down a row of cars parked at the entrance of the alley.

"Oh, I'm so shy! Your Qi Ming is so tender that he can get out of water."

"What's so tender that you can get water? You are so old and not young, why are you so inappropriate?" Mother laughed with her.

Qi Ming wished that a bomb would suddenly be dropped in the alley, causing peace in the world.

When I turned out of the alley and was about to get on the bus, I saw Yi Yao in front of me.

"Your glorious deeds," Yi Yao turned his head and waited to catch up with Qi Ming, "I even heard of it."

Qi Ming beside him took a breath and almost hit an aunt who came back from buying vegetables next to him, saying a series of "Oh, be dying, be careful to get some food?"

Yi Yao couldn't help laughing a little, "I can only say that your mother is very capable and can talk about such things, but forget it, women are all in this nature."

"Your mother didn't talk." Qi Ming was not convinced and puffed his cheeks.

"Lin Huafeng?" Yi Yao looked at him, "Let's forget her."

"At least she didn't say anything. The first time you... that time." Although she was 14 years old, the teacher still said everything she should have said in the school physiology class.

"The first time I was on my way home from school, I suddenly felt 'complete'. I rode home quickly. On the way, I felt like a thief. Everyone in the world was looking at me. Everyone knew that the little girl who was riding a bicycle had arrived. As a result, I went home, changed my pants and told my mother that my mother didn't say anything. She glanced at me, walked to her closet and opened the drawer, and threw me a pack of sanitary tampons. The only thing I said was, 'Be careful, don't dirty the sheets, and, hurry up and wash the pants you changed, it's so bad.'" Yi Yao braked the car, stopped at the red light, and turned around and said, "At least your mother would help you wash your pants, please be content, your young master."

Yi Yao didn't notice that the boy was blushing on the side. He just asked casually, but never thought that she would tell herself all the same as pouring beans. After all, it was at a delicate age, and even boys and girls would scream in the class when they touched their hands.

"Why are you telling me this..." Qi Ming's face seemed to be another red light.

"You have something wrong with you, didn't you ask yourself?" Yi Yao frowned, "I told you that you were unhappy, you are really mean."

"You!", the boy's face turned pale with anger, "Hmph! Sooner or later, he will become the same as your mother! A mean forty-year-old woman!"

Yi Yao pulled over the schoolbag in the front frame of the bicycle and threw it hard on the boy's back.

02

It's like a river like this.

It lies in the middle of each other. From fourteen to seventeen, one thousand ninety-five days. It looks like a river that is 1,095 meters deep.

Qi Ming has thought countless times that maybe like many rivers, it will slowly accumulate on the riverbed, and then the riverbed will rise. When several occasional dry seasons pass, the flat ground at the bottom of the river will be exposed, and the mother on the other side will slowly walk towards him.

But the fact is that I don’t know whether it’s me, my mother, or a hand, digging rivers day by day, cleaning up the quicksand, and attracting more canals. As the natural trench that has been deeper day by day, it can only be instantly blocked if I step on it.

Just like that morning, Qi Ming and his mother were having dinner on the table. As usual, his mother evaluated every morning news on the TV, and Qi Ming was silently squeezing the rice into his mouth.

"Mom, I've finished eating." Qi Ming picked up his schoolbag and changed his shoes. When he saw his father's wallet lying quietly on the low cabinet at the door. A blood vessel on his neck began to jump up again.

"Oh, add another piece of clothing. You wear so little, you want to get into trouble, my ancestor." My mother put down her bowl and the TV morning news that she was still evaluating emotionally, and went into the house to get the clothes.

Qi Ming walked to the front of the cabinet, took out the wallet, took out six hundred pieces, and quickly stuffed them into his pocket.

Qi Ming opened the door and shouted into the room, "Don't take it, mom, I'm not cold, I'm going to school."

"etc!"

"I'm really not cold!" Qi Ming opened the door and stepped out.

"I'll tell you to wait! Tell me what's in your pocket!"

The white light suddenly surged over outside the house, almost blinding Qi Ming's eyes. His hands in his pocket were still holding the six hundred yuan he had just pulled out. Qi Ming's hand holding the doorknob stopped there stiffly.

The sound was like a pool plug being pulled up, sucking into an invisible place like a vortex.

The silence of the room was left, a pool of water was full of. The silence after being released.

There is also the mother's rapid breathing and excited and red face in the silence. Her suffocating heartbeat.

03

"What's in your pocket? What are you saying?" Qi Ming turned around and looked at his mother.

"You said, what is in your pocket!" The mother's violently undulating chest and suppressed anger embellished the calm appearance.

"It's really nothing." Qi Ming pulled his hand out of his pocket and spread it in front of his mother.

"I mean this pocket!" My mother raised her hand, and Qi Ming saw her changing clothes in her hand. Her mother slapped her hand hard on the table, and a piece of paper was slapped on the table.

Qi Ming suddenly breathed a sigh of relief, as if the string that was tense so tight that it was about to break was suddenly pulled away by someone. But then, after the focus of his eyes, blood suddenly rushed to the top of his head.

On the table, the invoice for the pregnancy test strip was lying quietly on the table.

The playground was still empty the previous minute, as if it could stop the next plane. In the next minute, like ants attracted by the fragrance, densely packed students rushed out of the classrooms and blocked the playground in black.

The music on the radio was swaying in the white air in winter, shaking by the wind. The music was affected by the current and made a beeping sound. The female voice shouting the command on the radio obviously sounded unintended and sick, as if she was about to die.

"The sound of the snot is really uncomfortable."

Qi Ming turned his head. Yi Yao’s strange metaphor.

Yi Yao stood in the crowd, with boys and girls, one meter away next to him, Qi Ming pulled his hands regularly. When the music hit the second section, Qi Ming changed into a more ridiculous position and raised his arms one after another.

"Then why did you tell your mother? If it were my mother, I should have gone to the kitchen to get a knife and throw it on my face." Yi Yao turned his head and continued to talk to Qi Ming.

"I said that was needed for the teacher's physiological and hygiene class. Because I was the class monitor, I went to buy it and kept the invoice so that I could find the school to reimburse it." When the music was put in the third section, Qi Ming squatted down.

"Ha?" Yi Yao's face was not sure whether it was a look of surprise or ridicule, but he was lukewarm, "It's really OK. Did your mother believe it?"

"Yeah," Qi Ming lowered his face and said expressionlessly, "After hearing this, my mother sat on the stool, exclaimed, and said, 'Little Ancestor, you're scared me to death' and drove me out of the door and told me to go to class."

"According to your mother's character of acting talent, shouldn't you just hugging you and crying on the spot, then turning around and telling the people in the whole alley?" Yi Yao teased him.

"My mother almost cried." Qi Ming said in a low voice. She felt a feeling of being up and down in her heart, "And why do you look like you are not concerned about your own affairs? After all, this matter has something to do with you?"

Yi Yao turned his head and looked at the front, and the back of his head was covered with darkness. She looked at the front steadily and said, "Qi Ming, you are so kind to me, so good that sometimes I think everything you do is natural. It is very likely that one day you take your heart out and put it in front of me, and I think it's nothing, maybe you will step on it a few feet. Qi Ming, you'd better not to be so kind to me. Women are like this. If you treat her well, your feelings will be cheap. Really, women are cheap."

Qi Ming turned around and Yi Yao looked ahead without moving. The music was playing above her head. She seemed to be unable to hear it, standing still, like an electric toy with the plug pulled off. Her eyes were so moist that it seemed like water was about to drip. She opened her mouth but didn't make a sound, but Qi Ming understood what she was saying.

She said, one is more cheap than the other.

"Why is the girl behind? Why don't you move? Just chatting with boys, what a decent thing! Tell me about you!" The grade coach who passed by from the front of the team looked at Yi Yao in a daze, waved the dirty little red flag on her hand and roared angrily.

Yi Yao came to his senses and waved his arms stiffly. The music was put into the fifth section. Stretching exercise.

"I said," after the director of the discipline, Yi Yao turned to look at Qi Ming, with an unconcealed smile on her face. "She exclaimed, 'What kind of decent' when she saw me chatting with you. She wanted to know that I have a child in my belly now, and I wonder if she would go into shock on the spot."

Like a naughty child, he told a joke that he thought he was proud. His eyes narrowed with a smile, and his shiny light was shining.

But it seemed like a handful of broken glass was rubbed into Qi Ming's heart.

The surface of the heart with thousands of ravines is stitched into sadness like a needle.

Qi Ming raised his head. I don’t know how many winters have passed like this.

On the radio of music, everyone leaned on a pale face, waiting rigidly and negatively for the distant spring under the paler and lonely sky light.

The sad emotions deep in the center of the earth spread to the soles of the feet, as if they were connected to the circuit and flowed into the limbs. They stretched and waved their hands towards the sharp sky. Those emotions were pulled upwards and surged, accumulating around their eyes and were about to flow out.
To be continued...