"Why can't it be done?" Xiaying asked calmly.

Jia Guheng did not answer, it would be better to say that he didn't know how to answer.

He was caught in his palms by these life-and-death questions. He had no other choice except to seek and think about it.

Xiaying said again, "Hong told me that you moved from Jinling two months ago, but you delayed all the way and insisted on following the booksellers' team to travel west slowly...is that true?"

"yes."

"Why."

"Although these people don't know me, I have been with them day and night during the three years in Mustard Garden. I think since they are coming to Luoyang, I might as well send them the last journey."

"But you killed them outside Luoyang City."

Jia Guheng nodded.

"Why is this?"

Jia Guheng was silent for a moment.

He quietly looked at the incense on the table not far away. The burning incense ash was still connected to the incense pillar in its previous posture. A dark red line slowly burned in the middle and moved slowly downward.

Jia Guheng's eyes followed the bright fire line, thinking about the thoughts that had been lingering in his heart bit by bit.

"...Because, I don't understand." He whispered.

"Don't understand what."

"I originally thought that their way to transport the carved version would be dangerous, with bandits and demons... but not." Jia Gu Heng frowned, "The monsters in Middle Earth had long known to avoid places where people often appear. There were stations and patrols all the way along the official road... Even if they encountered any trouble, they could be solved quickly.

"It took more than two months to move slowly from Jinling to Luoyang like them. When they arrived in Luoyang, they would take a break for half a month, and then return to Jinling. It took more than two months - this round trip, half a year passed.

"What did they do in the past six months - transporting a batch of goods that no one snatched at all, walking from one place to another, and then turning back the same way."

Jia Guheng looked up at the zenith.

"I thought about this and thought for a long time, and suddenly I felt that these people were pitiful. Although they were humans, they lived like donkeys, mules and horses - but they were already alive like donkeys, mules and horses, but they didn't know it... Thinking about this, thinking about it, the faces of these people in my heart became more and more abominable day by day.

"Last night, I sat in the tree and listened to them chatting in front of the bonfire. They discussed how to have fun when they entered Luoyang. I had murderous intentions at that time - although I didn't quite understand why, I did."

"that's all?"

"That's it." Jia Guheng nodded.

Xia Ying's eyes fell into a little contemplation.

"Have I caused any trouble to the sir?" Jia Guheng asked.

Xiaying shook her head and sighed softly, "When you used to ask me about the meaning of your name, I never told you deeply. Do you still remember?"

"Remember." Jia Guheng laughed embarrassedly, "At that time, I always bothered you with these trivial matters-"

"It's not because of trouble... the reason why I couldn't explain it at that time was exactly the reason why I couldn't explain it." Xia Ying whispered, "But now it seems that I can only have a good talk with you."

Jia Guheng showed a confused expression.

Xia Ying spoke softly, "I like to ask questions in the bottom line. It's nothing big to put it on people, but it's a dose of poison when it's on monsters - especially big monsters like you.

"A person lives for only a few decades. What's more, in order to keep the cold and fill the stomach, they have to work all day long and have less hearts to share. Unlike you, once you think of a certain problem, you have to get in.

"A person's life span is short. If he can do one thing in his life, he can become their support - from musicians, craftsmen, famous actors, doctors, monks and Taoists, from emperors, scholars, officials... all of them are like this. With a skill, and looking for three or five close friends, he will never be lonely in the world.

"What about you? You are not a monster who likes to live in groups. You have lived so long. What kind of thing can become your support for survival?"

Jia Guheng was stunned for a moment.

These questions...he had never thought about them before.

Xia Ying said again, "Some people will never think about these problems in their entire lives, but there are so many boring things in the world. It takes some time to spend here and some time there, and the days will pass;

"Some people can't figure it out all their lives. Although it's painful and torture, once the death period passes, the pain will end.

"But what do you want to do?" Xia Ying looked at him, "If 'death' has not come to you, will you go to seek death?"

"I……"

Jia Guheng frowned in pain.

He had indeed had such intuition before, but he had never been able to say the words in a complete manner like Xiaying.

——Yes, he has been seeking death.

He was able to realize that "death" is both a relief and a curse to "people", but he could not see clearly what kind of relationship "death" is about himself.

He imitated humans and inserted swords, guns, swords and halberds into his body. It really made him feel a sharp pain, but he couldn't kill him.

The only thing that makes him feel dying is the pain caused every time he sinks into philosophical thoughts - but when the pain is so painful that he can't bear it, he will faint and his thinking will stop naturally.

Then how can we truly feel the feeling of death? He didn't understand, so before killing someone, he would ask the other party first, "Are you afraid of death?"

He hopes that someone can experience some new knowledge at that moment when his life is hanging on the line - that may also save his upside down.

However, so far, no one has given him a satisfactory answer.

Xiaying whispered, "I didn't say these to you earlier because I was afraid that these words would only make your troubles more - but now it seems that I can't stop talking."

"I can't find death, and I won't come to me even if I die. Mr. Xia, what should I do--"

"Please put life and death aside for the time being." Xia Ying's eyes were burning, like a torch, "If you really can't figure out why you want to live for me, just live for me - I need your help."

Looking at the young man in front of him, Jia Guheng once again briefly absent-mindedly, and he looked at Xia Ying with some helplessness.

"Can I...take the liberty to ask you a question?"

"Please say it."

"You... are indeed a 'person', right."

"certainly."

"You are this year..."

"Twenty-seven." Xiaying replied.

Jia Guheng suddenly couldn't help but tremble.

He suddenly remembered the first time he met Xia Ying in the Rifeng Realm thirteen years ago. At that time, Mr. Xia was not as calm as today, and his every move was full of youth.

He suddenly appeared without warning and said to himself, who was dozing in the warm afternoon sun, "Hey, come with me."

Before Jia Guheng could answer, Xia Ying stretched out her left hand and gently touched Jia Guheng's forehead - the feeling that Jia Guheng could not describe, but it still makes him unforgettable.

After that, he followed the man in a confused manner and finally came to Middle-earth.

To be honest, Mr. Xia was only fourteen years old at that time.

Let’s look at the person in front of you now... the childishness of the past has long ceased to exist.

This has only been around for more than a decade.

Time is on people, and it is really moving too fast.

And what was walking faster than this was their minds - from Xia Ying's eyes, Jia Guheng once again saw the kind of thing that he was extremely envious and could never get.

If for people, as long as they can accomplish something in their life, they can become their support... Then Mr. Xia must have found his career in his life, right?

If he continues to stay with him for forty years, fifty years... will he become an old man with white hair and beard like the Master?

Thinking of this, Jia Guheng suddenly became excited.

He stood up straight, leaned over and kowtowed to Xiaying, and a lot of unspeakable respect and attachment arose in his heart out of thin air.
Chapter completed!