As a man, I am still not strong enough. I said I would not cry and I would not cry easily. But when I saw the hospital examination results sheet, I still couldn't help but burst the dam...

A man secretly hid in the corner, crying like a fool.

I told myself to be strong, but when I saw my mother crying in pain, my heart was like a knife.

I also had dreams and arrogance. I would rather bear the pain than be angry. I was proud and had just failed. I thought that hard work would make me laugh at the wind and rain, and I believed that everything would eventually pass... I only realized that I had entered the Avici Hell at the end.

People say that the rainbow is always after the storm, but... what I have experienced is the storm, the storm, the storm, the storm... and the storm is ultimately the storm. God is like he is against me, and I wish I could drown me in the storm!

I don't accept it, I don't believe it... so I worked hard again and again, and paid again and again... but what I got was still storms again and again... it was like I was abandoned by God.

In the new year, I thought everything would be fine, and told myself to say goodbye to the past and welcome a bright future, but the result... it was a bolt from the blue.

My mother's health has been not very good in recent years. In August 2015, my mother's whole body was in pain. After examination, it was found that herniated lumbar disc. Well, this disease is not serious, it is a chronic disease. It is a kind of chronic conditioning and resting with physical therapy, without any serious damage... But after various treatments, it still did not improve, the whole body is still painful, and the blood sanitation rises rapidly...

I was not feeling good about it. I took my mother to multiple hospitals, visited multiple hospitals such as Chinese Medicine Hospital, Orthopedic Hospital, Southwest Hospital, Daping Hospital and other hospitals. Finally, I had MRI CT, M Day, tumor serum examinations, etc. at Daping Hospital. The hospital initially suspected that it was a tumor. At that time, I got this result, like a bolt from the blue. When I received the call, I received a call and cried secretly. Fortunately, I had further examinations a few days later, but it was not a tumor, but an inflammatory disease... My nervous heart finally let go, and at that moment I was so happy that I wanted to cry.

Later, the hospital prescribed medicine for my mother for two months to observe... and there were various examinations in the middle... However, after taking it for two months, the pain in my mother still did not improve at all, and it became more serious. She was bedridden and spent all her savings at home...

Looking at my mother's pain, I felt anxious and uncomfortable.

After the Chinese New Year, she had to take her to the Second Affiliated Hospital for examination. The weekly examination cost nearly 10,000 yuan. Finally, today I got the result - spinal tuberculosis, and formed a vertebral abscess, and the lumbar disc degeneration and bulging.

I eagerly asked the doctor if the result was serious. The doctor's answer was very serious. The early conservative treatment required a lot of cost, and the later surgery required more than 100,000 yuan, not to mention the subsequent postoperative rehabilitation treatment...

I had a beautiful dream last night, and today I was slapped in the face by reality. This result was like a bolt from the blue.

For a farmer family...it was undoubtedly a disaster.

I was at a loss and didn't know what to do.

I even suspect that this is a misdiagnosis, but the results on the report are so clear.

I secretly checked the information of the attending physician with my mobile phone, glared at Deng xx, chief physician, professor, vice president, orthopedic director, doctoral supervisor, published several papers, and interviewed by Xinhuanet...

Pretending to be strong in front of her mother, telling her that everything will be fine... But when she got home alone, she hid in the quilt and started crying secretly...

Seeing everyone's various comforts, I felt even more uncomfortable and cried even harder...

I tried hard to tell myself not to cry, but I couldn't help but cry and fell down without any competing.

I am still not strong enough.

My uncle had stomach cancer two years ago, and I was afraid of my mother...

I can't imagine it.

I promised to give them happiness and made them like princesses, but... I cried like a sissy.

...

I wanted to write, but my mind was messy. I wrote and deleted it to the computer. In the end, I couldn't code a single word and still haven't recovered.

The head hurts, the cervical spine hurts, and the heart hurts even more.

The beauty that I was looking forward to was broken in this day...
Chapter completed!