He said: Our support team exists for people with physical and mental disabilities. When you see the call number and call time, you will know that you may have encountered a difficult thing, but please don’t blame yourself, don’t complain, calm down first and talk about the problem.

"This morning, I didn't want a female old man at home to mention my body, and the two of them had another disagreement and controversy. I felt unhappy and picked up my phone and pointed it at her. Huh, maybe... it may be because I was a natural god pitcher, and I accidentally forgot to hide my god's arm. She was also like a dead wooden man who didn't know how to dodge her face. Her face turned into a beautiful flower cake. I'm here to trouble you again. Oh, you won't think I'm in trouble, right?"

Because Ren Woxing, who is much more physically disabled than me, is a close netizen who is more versatile than most normal people, is a very close friend who often comes into contact with. His arrogant, frivolous, cool and unique way of speaking has been unknowingly picked up by me and has been transformed into my own things and imprinted in my mind, making me feel much more relaxed when brewing sarcasm statements. And I also learned to use this way of speaking that seems to be a cloud, to create a painless illusion shell and hide my true voice.

"I won't think you're in trouble, because this is my job, but even though you're showing off, I also hear that you're not doing well now. What can I do for you?"

But he obviously had seen through my tricks.

In fact, I am very aware that I cannot fully interpret the fabricated positive roles. I also know that as long as I am a little more delicate, or as long as I can turn my head to think, I can easily know the relaxed and calmness on my skin. In fact, it is just an illusion deliberately disguised because I don’t want people to worry too much. It is a fake smile mask that is deliberately nailed to my face all the time to reassure those who care about me. It is a layer of a strong and fragile shell that seems calm and firm from the outside, but in fact it is a place where all my pain is restrained.

It is because although I have tried my best to make every word spit out from my mouth have a humorous atmosphere like a comedian on the stage, and the tone is completely sarcastic and sarcastic by realistic writers, and I even deliberately add two cheerful and unrestrained laughs. Due to factors such as extreme physical condition and large emotional fluctuations, the breathing sound of breathlessness and the occasional heavy exhalation in the gap are still considered something floating on the water and can be captured easily.

"... Although her reaction at that moment was indeed very similar to the wooden man, she won't beat her...how could it be considered a very embarrassed draw at most. After I lost my weapon, I suffered unequal revenge. Huh, Huh... it was mainly because she ran away in panic, which led to me not being able to return to the wheelchair by myself in this physical and mental state. Ah, I was very breathless... In short, I still need to ask you."

I told the adult male opposite the phone intermittently and dissatisfiedly that my heart felt powerless, and sometimes sighed helplessly because of my extremely tired body. Looking at the messy eyes, I thought about my vision again - just to "clean the bedroom and return to the bed with my own strength", but I couldn't even do such a simple and basic thing, and I had to ask others to help me deal with it. I was really useless and burdened.

But the person on the opposite side of the phone was still saying comforting words and trying his best to soothe my emotions, which made me feel deeply guilty but extremely touched. Perhaps someone thinks that based on the steady and warm voice coming from the opposite side of the phone, Li Yingqi, the captain of the Love Support Team, is a mature man who is calm in his face when encountering problems and is rational and rational. He may be in his thirties or forties. Behind the phone must be a middle-aged uncle who has experienced vicissitudes.

But from my real contact with him, although Li Yingqi's rationality is always online, it is undeniable that he is not a middle-aged uncle with a beer belly with stubble. He is obviously a young and capable man who is only 22 years old. In a broad sense, he can barely be considered a man of my age.

His height of 1.8 meters and perfect weight match made him look elegant. His two legs that were responsible for carrying his entire upper body were slender but beautiful and sound. The inconspicuous abdominal muscles he practiced in his work and spare time also made him a little more stylish. His traditional black hair, which originally looked like a brisk head, was dyed light purple and his handsome score increased again, and his sharp eyes became the finishing touch.

But if you are wondering why he is so stylish, why would he choose to devote himself to the loving cause of helping disabled people like us, and have made some achievements on this road. He became the captain of the Dongqing County Charity Support Team at the age of 22, instead of going to college to study and become an excellent college student or even graduate student or doctorate, I will tell you that this young cool guy who seems to be glorious actually has an experience that ordinary people can't understand and even sneer.

Li Yingqi is a boy who was defined as a "kind child" by his teachers and relatives when he was a child. He is keen to help others within his ability, especially when there are physically disabled people who have difficulty in movement and need help on the surface within his vision, he is always very happy to rush forward to help in time and reach out to give them the greatest help to the difficulties. Whenever he helps such disabled people, an inexplicable warm current will surge in his heart.

But around the third and fourth grades of elementary school, which is the critical period when his three views of autonomy were emerging and established, he clearly felt that he did not like people who were strong or completely healthy, and he had no feelings for his lower limbs. Instead, he often thought that his lower limbs flew from outer space and did not belong to his limbs at all. Occasionally, he felt that the lower limbs were extremely absurd to grow on him, and he also felt that the separation between the limbs and the body was extremely strong. The existence of the lower body seemed like an illusion and a dream, and it was impossible to do it all was real.

As he grew older, he was gradually entering junior high school, and even to the second and third grades of junior high school, his seemingly negative thoughts in the eyes of outsiders not only did not decrease, but became stronger. He began to use a utility knife to gesture on his legs, and posted some private texts on his mobile phone about "Legs hindering his happiness, I must find an opportunity to cut off my spine so that I can get rid of it." He also used all his pocket savings to buy walking aids that he did not need to use at all, such as crutches, wheelchairs, walking aids, etc., and always used these equipment to pretend to be disabled and imagined a bunch of subtle things, such as sitting in a wheelchair to pretend to be paralyzed.

After real friends knew that he had such a strange habit, they gradually alienated him. At the end of their way, he posted his fantasy things on social platforms, using himself wearing a mask to contact others who are sincerely making friends. Until every time the other party behind the screen finds something wrong, exposes many suspicious points and cuts off contact with him, and leaves the sentence "You really make your friends feel very upset", he will suddenly be stunned, but he seems to have no idea where he is wrong.

When his family asked him indignantly why he had changed from a kind person to a liar who pretended to be disabled and cheated, Li Yingqi gave the reason that "cutting off his spine is too painful and sad. Pretending to be disabled is the only way to relieve this pain." However, because his family could not understand the action, he broke out many family wars. He was scolded by his family in an extremely puzzled tone and beaten up with a mixed double. The crutches and wheelchairs were all thrown out of the house and stuffed into the trash can downstairs, etc. Li Yingqi basically suffered more than once.

In the end, his family thought that he had gone from a kind person to such a liar with extreme thoughts. He had either learned bad things to the point of being hopelessly wrong, or had a mental and mental problem, so he took him from his home to the 3-level mental health center in Dongqing County, Ande Hospital, and asked him to do a full-body scale examination and handed over the results to experts to diagnose. If there was indeed any problem, he would throw him in and treat him well for a month before coming out, and he would never give him any pocket money, even if it was just a cent.

The diagnosis results given by the doctor are:

Li Yingqi is not only a patient with complete physical identity disorder, but also a patient with bipolar disorder. Now bipolar and identity disorder are intertwined, resulting in his real interpersonal relationships, online interpersonal relationships, emotions, etc., and if he does not undergo systematic treatment, he may indeed have some dangerous actions.

Bipolar disorder is a condition that everyone is almost familiar with.

But what about physical integrity identification disorder?

This has obviously entered my blind spot of knowledge. I learned through Li Yingqi's brief introduction that this disease is called biid in English, which will make patients constantly and involuntarily seek amputation or paralysis. The medical community has no medicine or means to completely cure this disease. At most, the pain can be relieved through psychological treatment. Patients with mild or moderate may have imagination or relieving it by pretending to be disabled. Severe patients will directly use weapons to violently destroy the external limbs they want to destroy. This disease causes patients to make actions that are often mistaken for ordinary depression or self-harm of bipolar depression, and are often considered by people who have no understanding of it as bad character.

After being diagnosed, I was finally considered to be "really sick".

Li Yingqi finally breathed a sigh of relief.

It was just because he had such behavior that passers-by and ordinary netizens felt confused and vomiting at the beginning, he thought he was just simply admiring people with disabilities, not suffering from this extremely rare paranoia. But it was not until he began to feel extremely disgusted with his lower limbs, and even felt that the existence of his lower limbs was absurd, and he kept trying to end the pain through self-surgery, and he also saw relevant medical information online that he realized that he might have suffered from a disease.

The result was that Li Yingqi was immediately accepted by the "Open Mobile Phones Only" Psychology Department of Ande Hospital and began to undergo systematic treatment for bipolar disorder. During the weekly psychological counseling, he talked about the disorder of complete physical identification. After a blink of an eye, more than three months passed. The drugs about bipolar drugs were basically adjusted. His mood was much more stable than before. The idea of ​​removing his legs from his body was inexplicably weakened, and he finally waited for the day when both the doctors and parents allowed him to step out of the hospital gate.

But because of the diagnosis of emotional illness, I had to tell the school, and he had indeed not been to school for nearly a semester. The advice given by the school teaching department and the teacher was to leave school, start half a year or a year, and go back to school after thorough care, so as not to have any accidents in the school, and then push all the blame on the school.

But as we all know, if a patient with an emotional disease who is so serious that he needs to be hospitalized for treatment, it is quite difficult to resume school after taking a break. Many students in similar situations are like Li Yingqi. No matter how they try or try to integrate after taking a break, they cannot return to their normal school status. They can only gradually become completely resting and recuperating at home. After they meet the age standards and have stable mood, they will look for some handymen with low basic salary, or they still rely on electronic products to do their free business at home.

That year, Li Yingqi was about the same age as me and was only 15 years old.

Later, I remember him saying to me: "

Most of the people in our support team are people who have been wet in the rain, and they want to hold an umbrella for others because they have been wet in the rain. Although I am still a bipolar patient and a patient with complete physical identity disorder, I did make a little improvement after treatment. I chose to start from an unknown young volunteer and persevere. Maybe I just wanted to help more people in a normal way as I did when I was very young, and pass on kindness to those who really need to accept more kindness. Maybe I also wanted to atone for the stupid things I did due to illness in the past.

Whether it is the former or the latter, when I was struggling to prevent myself from hating my own body so much, and realized that pretending to be disabled will indeed bring great harm to others and will make others feel extremely heartbroken, I made up my mind to order myself to overcome the incorrect thoughts that the disease brought to me, and that's all."

Seeing that I had not spoken for a long time, he asked anxiously:... Are you okay? Touch you, touch you, hold on, we will arrive soon. If you feel uncomfortable, you can continue to keep on talking to me and I will talk to you about fun.

I answered:

What you want to overcome depends on yourself. I want to say that you are more brilliant when you are in contact with others with your "self" than you are after wearing a veil. You are very good and great now, that is enough. I want to sincerely... Thank you, thank you for being willing to remove that layer of skin and use your "self" to help me and "us".
Chapter completed!