I'm sick, sometimes it's a good thing...

The doctor who helped me treat my nose must be a doctor who cares about patients very much. Otherwise, how could he prescribe me medicine for more than ten days?

To take medicine means to have good morning, noon and evening meals. You must not miss it...

One morning, even though I stayed in bed three minutes late because the medicine I took the night before, I still went to the small canteen to have breakfast. If it were normal, I would have given up that breakfast.

Although my nose was not sneezing or running nose desperately at that time, Sais's feeling still made me feel like a patient. So, I was weak at that time, giving people a feeling of weakness. Therefore, I was so quiet...

I was busy and didn't stop. I was still very devoted to finding the value I wanted in the busyness.

If there are too many things in normal times, I will be very confused and will completely fall into a state of madness. But that day, although my movements were a bit slower than usual, I was not confused and unexpectedly solved the chaotic things one by one. I can really see a lot of things clearly...

It was Christmas that day. However, I was not interested in this festival, I had no interest in the East or the West, I just had no feelings.

When I saw friends on the Internet showing red envelopes, gifts, and blessings, I just smiled faintly. Because, we are all too empty...

When I got off work in the afternoon, Brother Ken's boss, my boss, the new order manager, asked me to send the sample to the factory to confirm it for QC. I was surprised: "Now?!"

After getting a positive answer, I had to go to the factory with the model.

I was very unhappy at that time because I was about to get off work and I had to go to the factory. When I came back from the factory, everyone else had finished their meals. The imbalance in my heart would be infinitely amplified...

But, if you look at everything from another perspective, the sea will be vast. How can I look at all this with a high attitude when I am not flying in the sky? I am on the ground...

Since I am an errand running person, I must be a good errand running person. In a group, if I care too much about my feelings and do not obey the arrangements of my superiors, then there will be problems with my overall operation. Therefore, I will not live out the person I want to be because I have no sense of responsibility...

Running errands are not necessarily low. It only means that your ability has not reached the required stage, so you are just learning and accumulating. A good running errands is not about feeling low, working hard, and complaining about the world all day long, but about working hard to do your duty, you must also think about the whole, sacrifice the ego for the big self at any time, and constantly improve your ability. Sacrifice the ego for the whole is not stupid, but another kind of gain. There must be gains and losses. The more you are afraid of losing and keep your own beautiful gain, the more you will lose another and better gain.

Yes, although I am running errands, I have run many uncles, aunts, brothers, brothers, sisters and sisters who I often face with smiles, all of which are obtained from running errands. If I only sat in the office from the beginning, perhaps my spiritual world will be more boring and numb.

I kept thinking about it, thinking about the benefits of running errands. As I thought about it, my mood naturally became more comfortable. There is no free lunch in the world, nor was there a slight run.

Yes, I can't fly. But I can still run.

After all, before I flew, I was a child who often ran wildly.

My world can still be turned with color, interpreting my 2B optimistic heart of Sagittarius!

Time continues to go.

"Forgive me, I am very much like a child. Dreams, all kinds of stupid things. Stories of falling from heaven and falling from the mortal world..." This song "The Angels Who Falling from the mortal world" was a song that I loved to recall at that time.

Because, I really look like a child...

Since childhood, I have grown up under the spoiledness of my family, and I have a strong, almost perverted so-called "self-esteem". That is, I am the god of my world.

When someone says something that hurts my self-esteem, I hate that person very much. No matter whether that person is a relative or a friend, a joke can be made, but my subconscious will automatically analyze whether the joke has stepped on the red line that hurts my self-esteem.

In that so-called self-esteem, my heart is extremely narrow. If anyone hurts my self-esteem, I will clearly remember the traces of being hurt. Perhaps, if I smile over, I will forget these unhappiness. But once the same thing still happens to that person, then the anger in my heart will be returned to that person with old hatred. In other words, those who have hurt my self-esteem have always had records of hurting me in my heart, and I have never really forgotten it. Therefore, I cannot give too much sincerity to those who have hurt my self-esteem, because the memories of the self-esteem being hurt are at work...

Because I grew up under spoiling, I feel that I am noble. What I have done must be a response. If I don’t get a response, my perverted self-esteem will begin to develop.

This is a mental illness. It has never been healed. So, I am withdrawn...

In terms of emotions, the perverted self-esteem will hope that the future partner will care about me very much, and the love for me is also 100%.

When this disease is serious, it is easy to think too much about it. I always feel that I want to hurt me in everything. Thus, I push myself into a world full of loneliness and regret.

My first love affair is such an iconic portrayal.

Because I always feel that my first love girlfriend falls in love with others and doesn’t love me 100% at all, my perverted self-esteem will drive my brain to do a series of crazy behaviors. For example, delete QQ, add blacklists, and post some weird moods...

However, these are just thinking too much. The truth is not the case at all, but I have been "kidnapped" by that mental illness.

Because of that mistake, my heart struggled very painfully. Therefore, I don’t know how to love and I am afraid of love.

After a few years of precipitation, I thought I could cure the mental illness. So I started to learn love...

The second relationship is coming, and I always feel that I can cherish it. As long as Arou cares about me and loves me 100% more, I won’t think too much about it…

However, I still couldn't get rid of the control of the perverted self-esteem. At the beginning, when Arou felt that I was her god, my perverted self-esteem actually recognized the word "God", and thus raised the requirements for the future to the realm of the word "God".

Just like, if I sing to A Rou, I will ask her if she sounds good. If she answers "super good" with many expressions, my perverted self-esteem will remember this reaction. When I sing to A Rou, I will also ask her if I sing well. When she just replied to the word "good" just by replying to the word "good", my perverted self-esteem will feel that she doesn't care so much about me anymore, and naturally I will be very hurt...

Also, she posted a message in the space. I commented, and some of her friends also commented. However, when she replied to the comments of her friends, but only when she did not reply to my comments, my perverted self-esteem felt that I was so redundant in her circle of friends and could not be recognized at all. Friends who have read the things I wrote at that time almost all knew that she was my girlfriend. However, in her space, there was no such thing as my boyfriend. This made my perverted self-esteem even more hurt, so I thought endlessly, and what I ended up with was only tears of insomnia...

In fact, everything is a very small thing. However, my perverted self-esteem is unacceptable. Therefore, if I don’t cure this mental illness for a day, I will not be able to remain at peace in my heart.

Almost all of the "injuries" are my perverted self-esteem and self-harm, and therefore, I feel extremely insecure.

It seems that my possession is not possession, and it does not completely belong to me. I just save it temporarily.

So, I am so tired. I have something to worry about and can only talk to myself, because there are some things that others cannot understand at all.

When I was a child, I could get a lot of what I wanted, but I thought I could get it, but I still couldn't get it...

God is fair. He gave me all the care when he was a child, but when he grew up, he took away all the sense of security...

So, my smile is all narcissistic... (To be continued)
Chapter completed!