Really, writing too little will bring a sense of strangeness and lack of confidence, and even writing the beginning will feel difficult or confused.

The best way to deal with this feeling is to say whatever you want, just write it. Once you have the beginning, the subsequent text will naturally come. This is the "natural result" in the legend.

Today is the weekend, and I took a long time off to accompany my dear to register for my training institution in Sakata...

Then, I can write something...

No, it's not that easy, because it's Monday night now.

I got off work a little early and came to the "March Wind" side to sit, wanting to take a break...

I just feel so tired, I want to take a break and give my tired soul some rest...

Well, I don’t know if I can finish a piece tonight, but I think the possibility of finishing it is very low...

Because it took me some time to take pictures, I had to go home in less than ten minutes. Once I got home, I had to enter the hasty bath and sleep mode again... There was no time to write something...

Well, so depressed, so tired.

I am busy at work and when I go home and rest, I am busy...

But I just need some time to write something or do something else I like to do. For me, that is the best rest, and I will feel happy and relaxed...

But this "co" is a very heartbreaking twist...

Looking up at the moon above my head, I really want to let go of myself and take a free little trip...

However, the shackles of reality have already trapped me and I can't break free. Unless, I don't care. The point of not caring is extreme. I haven't gone to that point, nor do I want to go to that point.

I really realized the sadness of adults after I got married...

Because, I can't even say a small promise...

Every time my dear asks me if I have time on weekends and if I can rest for a break to play with them, I can only shake my head and express my uncertainty...

In other words, since I returned to XDS, there has been almost nothing to be sure about, everything is full of variables.

Several times before, I promised my dear to get off work at 8:30 in the evening, but I had to postpone it because I had a temporary urgent matter to deal with. Every time I disappointed and angry, I would never dare to guarantee anything to her again, and I really couldn't guarantee it...

That feeling is called helplessness.

On one hand, it is work and the source of income; on the other hand, it is family and the foundation of life. I really want to balance, but it is always difficult to balance...

I feel pain in my heart, but I can't tell my family, because this will only increase their worries and keep swallowing them. If I swallow too much, I will feel uncomfortable and I will vent. If I can't vent, I will be very negative and my thoughts will easily go to negative extremes...

This is not the self I want to see, but this is a reflection of my struggle.

Then, it was noon on Tuesday, and I came to the back mountain of the company and wanted to be quiet...

Today's work pressure is very high, and it is not difficult to look at those things separately, but when they are crowded, they are extremely irritable and messy.

And a circle of friends posted last night made my dear feel that I was hiding her to "March Wind"...

If I want to hide it, why should I post it on Moments?

My explanation is like an extra existence, which makes her random thoughts happen again...

When the pressure of work and emotionality fell towards me, I really felt that I was about to be unable to hold on and wanted to cry when I came to the back mountain...

The last straw that crushes adults may actually be just a disappointing sentence...

When I was about to collapse, I really had the urge to want nothing...

Fortunately, Aunt suddenly called me and told me a problem that we have always paid attention to. That problem is very likely to be solved.

After hanging up the phone, I told my dear, and then it was normal. At least, the emotional pressure is normal for the time being.

I am still tired, but after deducting some of the burden of being tired, I can at least breathe a few more breaths...

A few days ago, the company's 25th anniversary essay "Dream in Xidesheng" I submitted was selected as a masterpiece and placed on the company's official account.

At that time, I was happy because it was a kind of recognition. Moreover, my little wish was fulfilled, allowing many people to see my mental journey.

Afterwards, the official account issued a voting announcement.

Well, the ranking is determined based on the number of votes.

At that moment, I felt that this had lost its meaning...

Because voting on the official account can only show how wide a person’s connections are, and it cannot show how well the article is written.

Therefore, I did not post a link to the article voting, and I did not post to my Moments or groups to ask everyone to vote for me. After all, I don’t have any connections. And this is not what I want to see. Canvassing is just for the sake of prizes.

At the end of the voting, the first prize was a rider who had a wide connection and was incomparable.

And I, without canvassing, was fortunate to be ranked third prize. If I had a few more people, I think it would be a commemorative prize.

But these really don’t mean anything, they can only say that there is no connection.

Therefore, the moment my essay was selected, it was enough! That was the best recognition!

A few days ago, I won the third prize certificate and prize.

Well, very casually, there was not even the title of my essay writing on the certificate. In other words, that essay competition was just a very casual activity and the company did not attach much importance to it. So I took it lightly and put the certificate and prizes casually without any pleasure.

This feeling is like you dedicate your enthusiasm to the casual wind, but you can't take it back and touch it...

I can be happy, but I can't.

Excessive expectations will only increase disappointment and thus reduce the sunshine of life.

Let's spend it with a normal mind...

Or, if the realm is high, it is best to reach this state: you can get it without desire, and there is a desire without desire...

Just like, a small surprise came suddenly at noon today.

OK, please calm down and go to work...

Upload when you have time.

That's it.

I won't lie to you.

real.

Um.
Chapter completed!