They have been together for so long, is there anything they haven't done yet?

Can you guarantee that the next one will be a virgin? You are already twenty-five!

Can you just let go of a relationship that lasted for six or seven years?

How do you know you can't let go of her? Besides, you've never liked other girls before!

She was very good-looking in high school, right? She was so cute, but she wasn't yours. Why the hell are you looking at other people's wives?

What has happened cannot be changed no matter what. What is important is the future. You cannot admonish the past, but you can still pursue the past!

Does she like you?

"MLGB, are you bothered?"

Annoying things kept whispering in my ears for a long time, and I couldn't bear it and punched the table. But there was no one around at all, and I was the only one in the room from the beginning.

I'm depressed.

I didn't send her a message the next day, and she didn't find me.

On the third day, I still didn't send her a message. She called me in the evening and asked me how the party went. I said it was okay, and we ate barbecue and sang songs.

She asked whether she should go out for a walk, but I couldn't say. I had a cold, and I didn't know if it was Yang Yang, so I wouldn't infect her, so she asked me to have a good rest.

It was then that I realized that this was a good excuse to hide at home and lie down.

In fact, she really doesn't like me. Whether it's holding hands or kissing, I always stick to her obscenely and proactively. I suddenly thought that if it was her "brother Q" who asked her if she wanted to go to the class reunion, she would definitely

I'll go.

I was tossing and turning on the bed and thinking wildly. The reason why I couldn't let go was because she was pretty.

But, is there really no need to do this?

I called X and asked him what his impression of her was.

I insisted that I didn't, so I just asked casually.

I've always been like this, always obsessed with saving face and stubborn, arrogant and low on self-esteem.

I want to break up, but boys are at a moral disadvantage when it comes to breaking up. It's also wrong for boys to mind if it's not the first time for girls.

I don't want others to think that I broke up because I cared about that thing. Although I do care, I just don't want others to think so.

That is a complete loser, a complete loser.

Before hanging up the phone,

It just so happened that she suddenly sent a WeChat message saying that she was at my door.

I was so frightened that I deleted the last two chat records and stood up to open the door. Sure enough, she came to see me. She held a thermos in her arms and said that it contained rock sugar pear she had boiled.

She came into my house and sat for a while, touched my forehead, and chatted with me for a while. She asked me if there was anything I wanted to eat, and I said there was nothing I wanted to eat, just drink some rock sugar and snow pear water.

In fact, she is really good. At least apart from my mother, no other woman is so kind to me. Right?

I recovered after two days. It would be better to say that I didn’t have Yang in the first place. We seemed to be back to normal, but I knew it was only on the surface.

I will never forget that day in full view of everyone, their looks and little actions made people so ashamed and hateful.

This is not about hating her, nor hating X for dragging me to the class reunion, nor the old classmate who suggested watching the video. It is more like hating myself for not being the "Brother Q" in the video, and why I didn't accompany her so much

for many years.

In fact, this is normal. I met that "Brother Q" when I was in high school. He was tall and handsome. Of course, it couldn't be me.

However, what kept me from getting out was not only the humiliation I suffered in the KTV that day, but also the fact that she had been dating other people for a long time in the past... Although I usually say that the bottom line is not to marry someone who is not in the right place, but for someone like me

When a diaosi really meets a beautiful and gentle girl, the bottom line cannot be lowered.

What really makes me feel tortured is my inner self-competition.

When I hold hands with her, I can't help but think about her and brother Q walking at night with their fingers intertwined. When eating with her, I can't help but think about her naughtily putting the vegetables she doesn't like into brother Q's bowl.

When the two of them drank milk tea together, they even thought of her puffing out her cheeks to taste what Brother Q's milk tea tasted...

Damn it, they feel so sweet, why do I look like the mistress who breaks up other people’s families!

But I told myself that this was too small-minded. Isn’t this a selfish person? Although she didn’t take the initiative to drink my milk tea, I think this action itself is meaningless. If she really likes drinking other people’s milk tea, just buy two cups.

It’s the same thing, maybe not every couple would do it.

After all, I have never been in love, and all my knowledge about love basically comes from anime, and the above pictures also come from anime. But no one should be stupid enough to think that the plot in anime can be true, right?

But apart from that, I still deny myself unconsciously.

Everything between us should be nothing new to her. It was a daily routine she kept repeating with another man in the past.

Will she really be surprised when she is with me? Will she be happy? Or will she no longer be surprised and just feel bored?

This makes me more frustrated and cold-hearted the more I think about it.

I have wanted to break up several times during this period, but for a socially anxious person like me, breaking up requires courage.

Breaking up means breaking up with each other, and those with a please-loving personality have the least courage to break up with others. Besides, both parties have already met their parents, and this is no longer a matter between two people. So it was postponed until the end, and they even got engaged.

In fact, I'm not eighteen, I'm not twenty... I don't have the right to choose like in the past. Besides, would another person be better than her?

Yes, she has done almost everything a girlfriend should do, and she is very nice to me.

However, when she treats me well, I think that every sweet word she says to me has been said to other men, and the kindness she treats me to is exactly what she has done to other men... Oh.

No, I am too self-righteous to say this. She should be more concerned about her ex-boyfriend.

After all, they have been in love for so many years.

After all, I have never seen such a shy and cute expression when she said she wanted to be with Brother Q forever.

I thought I would never see him again.

That expression does not belong to her now, nor does it belong to me.

She should have a sweet and deep kiss with him, call him husband sweetly, lie in his arms and act like a baby, watch the night view of the city with him... Will she do the same with me in the future, but I feel a little uncomfortable with others

Don’t do the same things we did together with me again!

Sometimes I would see the young and beautiful videos of male and female high school students on places like Hupu.com, and I would see sweet messages about people starting dating and getting married in high school on places like Zhihu Quanquan.

When I saw it in the past, I could only say "draft", I was so envious! Now when I see it, I can only curse "draft" in my heart, and then quickly cross it.

Sometimes I can't tell myself what I care about. To be honest, I care about too many things, but ultimately, it's still a sense of frustration as a man.

It's not about why she wasn't mine the first time, or why she embarrassed me so much, or why her youth belonged to another man... none of this is essential.

I know I'm being hypocritical, but I just hate this feeling.

I know clearly that she doesn't like me, or that she has never loved me like she loved her ex-boyfriend.

She doesn't love me, I just made a compromise choice in life after weighing the pros and cons.

She hangs out with me, chats and plays games with me, etc., just as a "girlfriend" routine. Like her parents, she just thinks that I am a good marriage partner.

All her love has been given to others, and her kindness to me is just an imitation of the past in her memory.

Really unwilling.

Recently, after I sent her home after dinner, she told me twice that if there was no one at home, she would like to go and sit at her house.

Maybe I am too self-aware, or maybe she really means that and feels that we are getting engaged and can move on to the next step.

But I chickened out and pretended not to understand. I said I wanted to go back and write novels. I have written too few novels recently and readers have been complaining about them. I have been doing well recently and the editor asked me to write more so that I can recommend them. I have been stuck recently.

I have to go back and think about the plot carefully...

Novels are an all-purpose excuse. A layman wouldn’t understand anyway, and she didn’t read the male harem stories I wrote.

When I refused, I was very happy about my character. I am a nerd with low EQ who doesn't understand the style. It's normal to not understand the hints.

I'm a nerd with no experience, so I really didn't understand. I'm an honest person who blushes when you hold hands, so I definitely don't think about that kind of thing all day long.

Of course I am not that honest person. I have a lot of study materials on my hard drive. I also have random thoughts about dating beautiful girls.

But when I really wanted to take that step, I suddenly felt scared.

I'm afraid that I won't do it well the first time, and I'm afraid that she'll be disappointed... Of course, it's fine if that's the case, but what I'm more afraid of is being compared.

For this kind of thing, she will definitely compare her ex-boyfriend and me unconsciously.

Does she really want to do that kind of thing with me? When she does that kind of thing with me, will she think of her brother Q?

How could there be such a humiliating thing in this world!

Shall we go to the Lantern Festival this year?

?The fireworks show held by the county. The two of them were crowded in the crowd. The fireworks were so beautiful. I hadn’t seen fireworks for a long time and they were both stunned.

Suddenly she said, do you remember... I waited for a long time and didn't hear anything else, so I asked what do you remember? She shook her head and said it was nothing, she remembered it wrong. I said you recognized the wrong person? She didn't answer.

Maybe it was because the fireworks were too loud and I didn’t hear it, or maybe I didn’t want to answer.

She must have recognized the wrong person.

I remembered a high school girl I met in the study room of a bookstore some time ago. She was in high school, just like me back then.
To be continued...